The end is only a new beginning

... after couple of incidents this year ... i remembered a saying about how  the beginnings are always hard, the ends are always sad but what lies in between is all that matters.

The beginning was more than 2 years ago when i started the diploma and the road ends here.

I started as an inexperienced, unconfined, neurotic clueless teacher ... i used to improvise a lot, make more damage than good and even the good stuff i couldn't do again because i did not understand what went right and why!?

if i went back to my final course, the beginning, the struggle, the resistance, the doubt, the anticipation and the joy ;)  these were the most important things ... the whole ride ... the whole learning experience not only the learning material ... as teachers it was always about how we learned not only what we learned.

i can go on and on about what i learned but i have one recent evidence. i have a new student in my year 9 class. this student is transferred from a different school American division and she is having a hard time adopting to the IGCSE system. she misses her friends, her teachers and she does not see the light at the end of the tunnel. last week her mother came to school with a big fat complain concerning the math teacher and that would be me. she complained that she paid money and her daughter had all the right to have a different teacher saying that she did not have a problem with her former math teacher... so she only has me to blame.

all of this is typical and happens every day but the interesting part was my response ... i knew that what i am doing was right , i knew that facilitating her learning was my role, i might be different from her former teacher but i will provide something new to her learning experience  and that spoon feeding and giving her a copy of the exam for grades was not in her best interest. i insisted on my opinion calmly and with a glimpse of a smile on my face. i accepted her frustration and her offensive attitude and all that in the presence of her daughter ... after a long talk she came to realize my genuine concern about her daughter's learning progress.
the more interesting was the reaction of the student the next day ... she came into the class a little worried not able to anticipate my reaction but i was normal and she did fine participating in the new lesson discussions and practice ... at the end of the lesson she addressed me privately and said that i don't have a problem solving each type of problem alone - factorizing polynomials -  but i have a problem figuring out which technique to use. verbally expressing her problem in a positive way opposed to her negative way of thinking was a breakthrough, having her understand and see eye to eye with me made all the difference ... justifying my actions and worries ,reaching out to her and her mother on a personal level made all the difference.

i was never that well informed, i was never that patient, i was never that meticulous about giving examples and diagnosis for each incidence and mistake ... and i have you Dr. Joy to thank for that.

I am 6 times wiser, 6 times calmer, 6 courses more educated and i have 6 instructors to impersonate and make use of their charisma and teaching tricks.

i am at the end of my road but i need to believe that this end is only a new beginning. i believe that i am valuable to my students as long as i get to be a student my self ... i got a taste of what it feels like to be a student and this made be a better teacher.